Hello! I don’t care what EVERYONE is saying: I was NOT intoxicated last night! And don’t believe the story about that big plate glass window and the cat! Vicious lies! Perpetrated by you-know-who. They are just jealous because I will not give them the name of my plastic surgeon. I have not had another facelift, it was merely a teeny-tiny tuck, and I was on the table only 16-and-a-half hours!

That said, I was so sad that I couldn’t make it to the Get-Together this year. However, I received a great surprise. The backstage crew did a show on Saturday, and I got the video, it was great! All my old pals really shinned on that stage. I had helped Richard Hughes a little bit gave him a few thoughts, and he was great! Very smooth and professional, he got a great reaction with his fabulous flowers and silks, he has become a must have at conventions, as you don’t see many such acts. Great job Richard! And speaking of great, my old pal Artie Kidwell has grown into a great comic, his look is great, his timing and presence were top-notch! Also wonderful were Mark, Jim, Jeff and of course, Steve, a great show all together. I hope there will be a video available. I am not parting with mine.

My very dear friend Laszlo from Canada put some of my work on YouTube, and I can’t believe the reaction they have gotten. I will be putting up the Vegas shows very soon. Las is a great guy, and you couldn’t ask for a more loyal and wonderful friend (he knows how DC’s One illusion is done!). All the aforementioned gents are what magic should be all about. Kind, loyal and talented.

Let’s talk about showmanship. I can’t express how important your first entrance MUST be. The audience doesn’t know you, so you must make a great impression. Don’t come out looking like the cable man. No one is paying to see the man next door! Look well-groomed and dressed. I’m not saying beads and sequins (like me, but I did make a hell of a lot of money!) Be as elegant (Marvin Roy’s word) as you can possibly be. Look like you are very successful and well booked, even if you don’t have a dime! People want to see successful people if they are paying hard earned cash to see you. You must act this way on and off stage.

But back to entrances, an old vaudevillian once told me “Kid, (He always called me kid, even when I was over 50) you have to hit them hard with flash and a stunning effect, and have a very big finish, the middle will take care of itself. He was right! I always opened big. Here is what the audience saw: The MC was not to announce me till after a small overture was played. I had a complete blackout. During the music I would get on stage with my back to the audience, and wait till the overture was over, then came my announcement, and drum roll and cymbal crash, full lights (I always wore a long sequined cape) I would suddenly turn, flourish the cape and hit ‘em with the biggest smile I could muster. It really made a great impression.

And I worked fast, usually a dove, then a big smile with the dove over my head, which almost always made them applaud (The old dairy run). That really worked for me for years. I’m not saying you should try this, as this was my style. Tricks in the middle, and a big finish, this you must have. Let them know they saw something great and wonderful, and when they start applauding, give them a “What? For little me?” look. You can learn how to make them clap and read an audience. It takes time and practice. I will go into it in future columns.

Now, about lights. I worked with the great Marlene Dietrich and was a huge fan (Research, boys) in the big theatres you could not see her rehearsal with the light guys, but in smaller theatres (Warren Ohio) you could. Here now are Dietrich’s tricks for looking great. The sidelights should only have red and blue bulbs and pointed to the back. Now here’s the goodie: on your follow spot use a Surprise Pink Gel, position a strip of dark blue gel about an inch wide, down the center of the gel. What this does is create a deep lavender, which is the most flattering to the skin, it will not make the stage darker, only you. Believe me, it erases all the lines (if you have them, my face looks like a yard of corduroy). I know this all sounds old fashioned, but you all should have this knowledge. In the right lights you can look fabulous, and you should! You’re a magician, but you must be a ENTERTAINER first.

The people will want to see you and talk. Boy, did they talk about me! (No, not the drinking, but the act.) I was one of the few novelty acts to headline and close a show. It did take me a long time to reach that level, but reach it I did. I really don’t have to work anymore, but have been asked to lecture at magic clubs. I have accepted two already, in New Jersey and Ohio. But I have to be in Paris and Monte Carlo in the fall. (Now that sounds grand!) I designed an act and wardrobe for very dear friends of mine, and the act has been asked to appear at the Circus Festival for Princess Stephanie in Monaco. They insist I come along, so I agreed. When I get the dates for more lectures, I will let you know!

I hope you all get to see me on YouTube. I’m quite proud of the acts. I worked my butt off on the Asrah form. I took photos of my beautiful assistant under a sheet from all angles, so it would look like that was her under the sequins. Also notice when the cloth falls, it swings freely and not one big lump. I had magicians sneak into the shows and take pictures from all angles. We locked the form up every night, and you would not believe what some jerks will stoop to! But NO one really got to look it over. I even used it in Vegas, two feet from the audience, and still fooled them. That trick was very good to me. All the other props were designed by Paul Osborne and made by Abbott’s. You have no idea how great they trouped! I sold them all except the 4-person Palaquin, which is an exact copy of Blackstone Sr.’s. The wonderful Bob Lund let it be measured and copied. I was going to keep it, but I will never use it so it is for sale. If anyone is interested let me know.

Now I know there are a lot of you out there who have questions but are afraid to ask, please feel free to ask me anything I will answer all. I certainly don’t know everything, but do know a lot and I want to share my knowledge with all of you. I have no children, so at least I can share my talent.

One more thing: wardrobe. Be sure you go to the best tailors and have your suits custom-made. If you can’t afford that, buy it off the rack and have a tailor custom fit it to you and only you. And always make sure your shoes are in great shape, I remember all the classy MC’s carried them in special soft bags. Nothing looks as bad as a handsome magician with scruffy shoes, you would be surprised just how many people notice things like that. If you’re wearing spandex, make sure you are wearing the proper undergarments. I think you guys know what I mean. Now THAT really looks bad! I will do a whole column about makeup. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t need it. Yes, you do! Not to the extent I did, but a light coat, and always do a little around the eyes. You have to have eye contact, and how will you do that if they can’t see your eyes from on stage? I have seen some great looking guys and gals that could look great with a good makeup job. I NEVER went on stage without it!

Well, my dear friends, Smeadly is honking the limo again, so it must be that time again. (I just hope that cat is okay) AND if someone says I drink more than is good for me, you can tell them to… er, perhaps I won’t go there, it would be impossible anyway. Until we meet again (Great title for a song!) so I bid you all a fond adieu, Happy Thumb Tipping.